Some More Small Victories ...

Some of what I'm going to tell you about my small victories today might mean absolutely nothing to some of you because you have lived your life being able to do these things day in and day out without question, but for me they are happening for the first time, but definitely not the last time.

I went to the grocery store last evening to pick up what we needed for the next few weeks as well as pick up the water (18L bottle). Normally my mister will go get the water, put it in the van and then come back to do the rest of the grocery shopping with me. Unfortunately, this week, he is home sick with a HORRIBLE stomach flu and didn't go shopping with me at all. So it was all up to me.  I went about my shopping as normal, got everything I needed and then it was time to get the water. I was scared I wasn't going to be able to lift it at all, let alone into the cart and then out again when I got to the van but WOW I surprised myself.  I did it ... I picked up the water and put it in the cart like there was nothing to it, but that was only part of the battle. I paid for my groceries and off I went to the van. Again I looked at that bottle like there was no way I would get it out of the cart and into the van but again I did it ... still not done yet though. When I get home from groceries I have NEVER emptied the car myself, my lovely husband is always there to assist with the heavy items but not last night. I just couldn't ask him to get out of bed after the day and night he had put in with this flu so I went in and opened the door and then started the treks back and fourth to the car, thinking it would take forever but I did it in a really good time and even brought the water in all by myself. Some people might think that its not a big deal but I used to have such a hard time getting myself up my back steps and last night I walked up them with ease carrying a full 18L jug of water. I couldn't even believe it when I got into the house and put the jug down.

Today another small victory that most take for granted.  Hubby is still sick this morning and its garbage day.  I always get the garbage ready to be taken down to the curb, but I have never taken it down because walking down to the curb and back up used to get me so winded that I almost threw up.  Today I was able to bring the garbage down and walk back to the car as if I had been doing it all my life.  I wasn't winded, I was so excited.

I know now seeing these small victories that I can do this. That I can change my life so that these are normal things in every day life and not just small victories!!

I weigh in later this evening and will update this entry when I do!

I weighed in on Tuesday evening at 301lbs ... that's 4.4lbs down from last week!!

Finally Had an MRI

I am so happy to report that I have finally been able to fit in an MRI machine and as such had one done this morning.  I will not deny that I was terrified to go. The last time I went to have an MRI I was too large to fit in the machine and I paniced because they tried to squeeze me in even though I was panicing. 

Fast forward almost a year and here I am 60lbs down and the MRI is finally behind me.  I was not happy when I got there and realized I would also need to get an IV.  The MRI itself really was not as bad as I had thought it would but the IV hurt ... because I'm a wuss when it comes to needles.

Next on the agenda of getting my new self all healthy is to start scheduling my B12 shot appointments.  Again something I am dreading but I know in the long run it will make me feel so much better. I feel like the first part of this year is going well so far ... I am working on getting healthy as I lose weight ... I am doing things for ME and learning what it means to say no to people when I know I just can't add anything else to my week.

Just a Quick Update

Well last evening I received an order from Penningtons of some new tops.  I decided to order all the tops in a 1X even without trying them on.  I was very excited that all but one top fit. The one that doesn't fit will soon, its just a little more snug than I am comfortable wearing. So this morning when I put on 2 1X shirts and a pair of 2X pants I decided to do another progress picture.


Here they are!!

I have now gone from a 4X-5X top to a 1X in most tops and a 5X pant to a 2X pant in most pants.

Gained This Week then Lost Lots

Well TOPS was changed to Monday this week and I sadly gained 3.4lbs.  I can't say it wasn't a complete shock because I was not doing what I should have been every day. I was not measuring all my food, or exercising enough.  I can not and will not blame it on needing a band adjustment entirely, because I could have done more. I can always do more to become the healthy person I know I can be.

I went home from TOPS Monday evening with a new sense of direction ... I planned to get up on Tuesday morning and start a new exercise routine, or at least add to what I was doing.  Sadly instead of doing that I got the Stomach Flu! Since that morning I have lost 13lbs ... something I know won't last by any means but WOW did that ever hit hard.  I weighed in on Monday evening at 305.4lbs and this morning I weighed in at 292lbs Something I haven't seen in YEARS and YEARS. I know that it is a short lived weight loss (at least of this magnitude all at once) but wow does it ever feel great!! I will definitely see this weight again but I know it won't be there at the next weigh-in as long as I can continue to keep food down, but I vow to get close to it!!

The New Me ...

16 weeks ago today I was getting ready to head to Toronto for surgery.  I am still in awe that I had surgery let alone am fully recovered and living my new-to-me life.  I am down over 60lbs and very very close to being below 300lbs.

I have always wanted to be able to just get up and go each morning without pain.  Previous to surgery I can't even count on one hand how many days I was able to wake up pain free. My hips, legs, feet, even my arms would be killing me each morning.  In the last few months I live a new reality, I wake up each morning pain free, refreshed, and ready to tackle a new day.

Before surgery I was also too large to use the WiiFit I bought almost 5 years ago.  I absolutely love it but I was way over the weight restrictions of the board it uses.  Saturday I was able to use it!!!  I have also been able to do yoga moves I wouldn't even have thought of trying before.  

I believe this is the smallest I have been in at least 7 years, possibly more. Sadly I am paying for all this today.  My legs are BURNING!!

60 POUNDS DOWN

I haven't posted a weight post in a while because we didn't have TOPS meetings over the Holidays.  I knew that without the meetings I would need a little extra kick every day, a reminder, that I could do this without the check in every week.

I will be honest though, I was terrified not having that check in each week. I was afraid I would slip into my old ways and say "oh well I have 18 days till weigh in I can have that square and not count it"

I won't deny that I had a square or two over the Holidays, however, I made sure I counted them in my daily calories. If I knew I was going to have a square or something I don't normally eat then I made sure I  re-organized my meals the rest of the day to accommodate it. These are all brand new things for me. Not because I was never taught them, I had been taught them throughout my entire life, but I never put them into effect like I should have.

Every occasion in our family is celebrated with food. During the Holidays we had 2 turkey dinners, a lobster & steak dinner, and an appetizer buffet. Add to those meals there were trays and trays of sweets for desert. Although my family didn't change how THEY celebrated special occasions, I HAD TO CHANGE how I celebrated and this is going to be a constant battle for me.

I didn't get to 364.4lbs because I didn't enjoy food. I absolutely LOVE food but I have had to change how I choose to love food. In the last few months I have been able to switch it up and I am starting to enjoy making new recipes and baking for others so much. I can't say I don't want to eat the food from time to time but seeing the reactions of people who try my cooking/baking is a reward for me.


I was so excited to step on the scale last evening at TOPS because I knew I didn't over-indulge like I have in the past years during the Holidays. I was so excited to see that I was DOWN! I lost 6.2lbs since my last weigh in on December 18, 2012!

I am now down 61.2lbs!!

I am so happy that I have reached this goal. I wanted to reach 60lbs loss by December 26th, however, we didn't have a TOPS Meeting and I didn't want to ask someone to weigh me in over the Holidays. I did weigh myself on my home scale but I was too nervous to take it as a real weight loss without it being done on the TOPS scale.  Now that it has been validated on the TOPS Scale I will say I reached this goal.

My next goal is to be below 300lbs before my MRI on January 28th, 2013.  The last time I had an MRI scheduled I was unable to get it done because of my weight. I was not too heavy for the machine I was too wide for it. So if I can go there below 300lbs I will feel absolutely AMAZING!