Well a lot has been going on lately and I fell a little off with it all. I started back to work on Sept 2 and I am so happy to be back to work. No that is not sarcastic either. I like the routine and I also like the chaos at the same time. As much as I wish I could spend every waking moment with Ahnika I know that just isn't feasible at all. Everyone said it was going to be a huge change going back to work and it was/is. I now have a brand new routine above and beyond my normal daily activities because of Ahnika but I wouldn't trade it. My days are hectic that's for sure but I do love it. I just wish I could get back on track with life.
While I was on maternity leave, which flew by so very fast, I was definitely not eating properly at all. I would just eat whenever/whatever I felt like it, and that made my weight end up getting very erratic. I would lose 4lbs one week and gain that and then some back the next week. In getting back to work I was hoping that I would get back on track but really that hasn't completely happened. I am still eating way too much and too often. I know now it is a conscious effort that has to take place on my part but I am finding it so hard to make it.
I know that if I was to write everything down that I eat in the run of a day every day I would start to become more accountable again but again it takes a conscious effort that I don't seem to be putting in for some reason.
There are times I think that I am not making this conscious effort because I obtained the unobtainable in my life by just getting to my current weight and that is an absolutely gorgeous baby girl who is growing like a weed. But I need to keep reminding myself that I didn't get the surgery to solely have a child. I had the surgery and changed my life so that I would be around for that child for the rest of her life and if I keep getting stuck at this weight I am not going to be there for her.
I need to go back to square one in this lifestyle change I started on Sept 26, 2012 but I find it so hard to make that change. I will never deny that I love food and everything about it and because of that giving things up that I enjoy is hard. Even though I know that ultimately they could hurt my journey.
Today I have made a small change and that is writing everything I have eaten down. That includes the tea I just had delivered. I am hoping that if I can get back into writing down everything I eat as well as keeping back up with this blog I might hit my next goal of being at/below 250lbs.
