Just getting back into the swing of things after a camping trip in PEI with Colin, Marcy, Seward, Evan, Allison, Matthew, Madeline, Heather & Ariana. We had a ton of fun, however, I really felt my weight holding me back. The bathrooms weren't very far from the tents for most people but for me it felt like mils away. It took me so long to walk to and from there that I was a huge ball of sweat by the time i got back. I finally started taking the van back and forth just to help me out.
I also noticed how hard it was for me to get up off the air mattress. So much so that at one point I just couldn't get up at all and I started to cry so hard. I was so frustrated with EVERYTHING at that moment. I had to have Colin help me get up and I felt so humiliated.
We went to a few amusement parks and some shopping and I had so much trouble keeping up with everyone. I wouldn't go on the water slides with the kids even though they all wanted me to. I'm sure my weight was also the reason I was in bed so early every evening. I just couldn't stay awake.
I think daily of things that I will be able to do when the weight starts coming off. I know it won't all happen right away, and it will take a lot of work, however, watching how much Jay has been able to accomplish in such a short period of time has been so inspiring.
It has been a really busy few weeks and I haven't even really thought of the surgery itself If I let myself think about it I do get nervous. I can't even pictures myself "small" I can look back at pictures and see what I looked like at 300lbs but I really can't picture or even think that its possible to be below that weight.
I start my liquid diet in 15 days and I really can't wait, however, after about 2 days I'm sure I will hate it and start complaining.
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