A change has been needed for a while. I just couldn't seem to find out how to do it. I have been noticing for a while that my jeans aren't feeling the same as they had been, and not for the better. I have always had a love hate relationship with jeans. They were never comfortable on me due to my weight, So when I lost some of this weight I noticed they started to fit better. I used to have to pull them down all the time to cover my ankles because my calves are so large but as the weight started to come off I had to do this less and less. Sadly over the last month or so I noticed myself doing this almost every single time I put my jeans on.
So on Nov 24 I decided I really needed to start controlling what I eat again. I really hadn't done this since I found out I was pregnant. I had been eating everything I wanted, without ever thinking about the calories and consequences. This needed to stop. I hadn't written down what I had eaten since I got pregnant, and as such, was able to deny very easily how badly I was eating.
Not only was I denying how much I was eating to myself I was also lying about it to everyone else, even Colin. I never lie to him about anything, but I was. I would go out with friends and eat at BK and then tell him I didn't eat out. Or when I would go out for a coffee I wouldn't tell him I also bought 2 cookies. It was getting so that I was sneaking food all over again. Something I swore I would never do.
It will STOP ... it has to STOP ... but it will take a LOT of effort each and every day!
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