A Weekend Away ... and Me

Well I was in Truro this past weekend with TOPS and I had a great time.  I ended up being a Provincial Winner for Division 9 which is the Weight Loss Surgery division within TOPS.  I know I am not the same as everyone else and I needed the surgery, but it felt odd being the only person as the Provincial Division 9 Winner.  I didn't think there is anyone else in the Weight Loss Surgery division at all, but I have to stop thinking that this is a bad thing.  I don't know if I will be there next year, but I hope to be.  I hope that this surgery works properly for me and I know that I can not lose weight like everyone else so I am working hard at this.

Some people have been asking what the Lap-Band looks like because just talking/writing about it doesn't truly explain it.

Below is a picture of a stomach and around it is the Lap-Band  You will notice that it makes a smaller pouch at the top but that the rest of the stomach is left in tact.  There is a small tube that goes from the band down to a port.  My port is sewn to a muscle just to the right of my largest incision and that is what is used to add fluid (saline) to the band each and every time I go to Dr Stalker's office in Halifax.

Each time I go to Dr Stalker's office he adds saline to my port which travels up the tube to the band itself and it tightens it just a little so that a small amount of food keeps me satisfied for 4 hours or more each and every time I eat.

I have a 10cc band and I currently have 3.7cc's in my band.  I go for another adjustment on June 20th and I am hoping that this is the last one for a while.  I am close to my "green zone" but it feels so far away sometimes.

I know 100% I am not like everyone else, I used to eat to keep from doing other things. I have been on every fad diet known to man and been to more doctors and dietitians than I can even count. But no matter what I was doing I couldn’t take weight off for longer than a month or so and each time I thought I found my stride I gained every bit of the weight back and then some. 

At my highest weight I was barely living life but to the outside world you would never know it, I was good at hiding how I felt. 

Before my surgery in September 2012 I was so large I didn’t fit into a standard MRI machine that I
desperately needed, I was forced to view Walt Disney World from a wheel chair because my
legs just couldn’t hold me up for any length of time, and while camping I had to take my car
from the campsite to the bathrooms because I knew that walking there would have me so out
of breath and sweaty I’d feel horrible. 

 I feel amazing as of today but I have to keep realizing that I am NOT everyone else ... I will stumble and fall .... I will have good days and bad ... but I am me and I will lose this weight!!!

A Loss and Some Exercise

Well I lost this week at TOPS. I'm down 3.8lbs bringing my total to 78.6lbs.  I was very happy when I weighed in because last week was a small gain that I was hoping was all water weight.

I also started the 30 day Squat Challenge on Monday! So far I feel ok, but I'm pretty sure that by day 7 I'm going to be one hurting woman.  This is one thing I really want to do for me ... something I want to try and stick to no matter what. I find myself starting and stopping a lot of things lately and I know I can't keep doing that because if I do I will never get to where I want to be.

Starting Friday there will be a new challenge hosted by Big Deal's Weight Loss & Jay.  I really want to do this as well and am truly hoping I can stick to it. I already keep a food diary so part of it isn't an issue, however, the 30 minutes of outdoor activity each day may be harder to achieve.

 

I am hoping that these things will help me keep on track and lose the weight!

Its The Little Things That Mean The Most

I may still be 110lbs away from my goal, I may still wear between a 1X & 3X, I may have weeks where I gain a 1lb here and there but I feel amazing already.  I have had a number of NSV (Non Scale Victories) that just make me think back to how I felt at the beginning of this journey and remember why I need to keep going when I feel discouraged.

• I was able to paint my own toe nails last evening and to most people that seems like an every day task but for me was almost impossible due to my size.  I was even too embarrassed to go to a pedicurist.

• As a friend stated in his blog yesterday I now can choose to go to almost any show/restaurant and sit in any seat and know I will fit where before I turned down a lot of tickets/dinner dates/etc because it had arms on it and I wouldn't fit.  

• I purchased my van over 2 years ago and in hindsight I only picked a van because I didn't fit in to anything else comfortably and now I feel like I could pick almost any vehicle (within reason) and fit without issue.

• I bought a pair of high heels for the first time this month because I finally didn't feel like I was going to sink to the center of the earth.

• Before I started this journey I would cringe when I realized I had to walk somewhere to get something, whether it was within the office (up or downstairs) or to take the garbage to the curb and now I do it without even thinking.  There are days I go up and down the stairs at work 10 - 20 times now!

I may update this from time to time when other things that make me smile and remember why I decided to take this journey!

A Gain but A Non Scale Victory That Made Me So Happy

I sadly gained 1.2lbs this week at TOPS and although I promised never to make excuses for why this happens from time to time I think I was my own worst enemy yesterday.  I started getting a sore throat around  2pm and to try and help relieve the pain I ended up drinking close to, if not over, 64oz of water.  I NEVER do that on a weigh in day, so I wasn't overly surprised when I stepped on the scale last night.  I thought I did really well through out the week so I had actually been expecting a loss but was not overly upset with the gain.

What made me super happy this week though was ...

I drove a bike!!!

I didn't think I would be able to but I didn't forget a thing.  I will, however, never drive this bike again without changing the seat because its a Mountain Bike seat and very hard on the butt LOL

NSV (Non Scale Victories)

Well everyone,  I lost 1/4 of a pound this week at TOPS and although it was not as much as I wanted to lose it didn't get me down because I had a TON of NSV's (Non Scale Victories) A big one was that I purchased a mountain bike about a week ago and am loving it, even if I'm not loving the hills in our area yet.

Last evening my husband and I went for a ride straight after work. He has been driving a bike for YEARS and loves it so this is something that I really wanted to do as I started to lose weight so I could spend time with him.  We left our house and went for a 20 minute ride, and although I'm sure Colin could have biked circles around me he was very kind to me and stopped on hills if I needed to ... I am very lucky to have him to help me along.

The hills in our area are annoying, some small and some large, but very hard on something who hasn't ridden a bike in FOREVER.

 

After the ride we went and had our supper etc and then around 8pm he asked if I wanted to go for a walk since he wanted to fly his planes (RC ones) and in the past I would have laughed at him.  But I said yes and I'm sure he was very shocked to hear me say that.  We went down to a small park where he likes to fly and around it is a walking track.  It isn't large but its 1/4 of a mile long and I did 2 full laps around it.  I was able to get up to 3Mph walking and was very excited.



That was 2 awesome NSVs for me, things I didn't think I would ever be able to do again.

I am almost done of my 30 day Squat Challenge and am looking to start another challenge once its over. I still haven't decided what to do though.   What is nice however, is that our office has started a Walking Club and we will do group walks every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  As I get more information and days under my belt I will tell everyone how its all going.

Needing to Refocus

I don't know why I feel off track but I do even though I'm losing weight still.  I think its the weather, it makes me feel like I should be doing so much more.  I need to up my walking so I'm sure to be able to do the full Walk for ALS at the end of June. Since the weather is very unpredictable I am going to stick to walking on my treadmill but I really need to do more.  I started a challenge in April to walk 15 miles and I got about 5 in and gave up.  More so because I was so swamped with other things that I just pushed it aside.  I need to stop doing that, I need to make ME a priority no matter how many cakes I have to bake, or what family I have to visit, or how stressful work is.  Walking should be so natural but it is still a struggle for me so I am going to make it a priority. It isn't going to be every day because for me right now that just isn't working, so I am going to walk every second day, no matter how busy I am I will take 30 - 60 minutes out of my day to focus on me. 

I am going to have to try a few things while walking to make it less boring though, whether it be reading my Kobo, watching TV shows on Netflix, or listening to some really good music. I can't just walk aimlessly because I get bored too quickly.  I am the multi-task queen and as such it frustrates me that I can't do other productive things while walking so if I could take my mind off of that by reading, watching a show, or listening to music and focusing on just me it should help.

I did enjoy the Couch to 5K I was doing in April and although I did stop it I think will pick it back up but in a modified form this month.  

I really do need to refocus my priorities to get this done because it is all about my life & health.  On top of wanting to lose weight and become healthier in turn all of these changes will also help me cope with other issues in my life.  On February 4, 2013 I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis (MS).  It was a great shock to get this diagnosis, but it was also a relief to know that everything that has been going on the past 8 - 10 years weren't just random occurrences. Although there is no cure for MS it is a disease that many many people life with daily and without major issues.

I haven't had was is known as a "flareup" since my first one in December of 2004 when I lost the sight in my right eye due to Optic Neuritis.  That lasted about 4 - 6 months but I can now see perfectly fine. I have since had a few smaller issues like vertigo and bouts of extreme tiredness, the biggest thing that I was left with was cluster migraines that annoy me more than anything.  They aren't like a normal migraine, instead they are sharp sharp pains, like a knife stabbing me that can last up to about 60 seconds but can end up happening upwards of 50 times a day. 

Losing this excess weight and living a healthier lifestyle will not only make me look/feel better physically but will also help me deal with future "flareups" of my MS. I hope to go another 8+ years before I have a "flareup" and I hope that all of these changes to my lifestyle will help with that!

I got weighed in last evening and lost 0.8lbs bringing my total for weight loss to 76lbs!!! My current weight is 288.4 ... I am 24lbs away from my 100lb loss and I have only 16.2lbs until I am halfway to my final goal!!!