Almost a YEAR ...

It has been almost a year since my last post and sadly not a lot has changed ... I am hovering around 285lbs!  I have been having a HUGE issue with stuck episodes and vomiting because of them.

Sometimes when these stuck episodes happen, more frequently, you are forced into the habit of what is called maladaptive eating; when you turn away from the good solid proteins and eat more of the softer mushy type goods that go down easier. Satiety decreases and therefore I was hungry more often and eatting the foods that weren't so good for me.

Because of all of this I was sent for a small adjustment to remove some liquid.  This should help me get back to normal eating habits.  I really, really, hope it does help me because I so want to lose more weight, get healthier, and do more with my precious little girl.

**On a side note I can not believe my daughter is almost 20 months old already!! Look at the difference in her!!!

Starting Over ... Making Some Hard Changes

A change has been needed for a while. I just couldn't seem to find out how to do it.  I have been noticing for a while that my jeans aren't feeling the same as they had been, and not for the better. I have always had a love hate relationship with jeans. They were never comfortable on me due to my weight, So when I lost some of this weight I noticed they started to fit better.  I used to have to pull them down all the time to cover my ankles because my calves are so large but as the weight started to come off I had to do this less and less.  Sadly over the last month or so I noticed myself doing this almost every single time I put my jeans on.

So on Nov 24 I decided I really needed to start controlling what I eat again.  I really hadn't done this since I found out I was pregnant. I had been eating everything I wanted, without ever thinking about the calories and consequences.  This needed to stop.  I hadn't written down what I had eaten since I got pregnant, and as such, was able to deny very easily how badly I was eating.

Not only was I denying how much I was eating to myself I was also lying about it to everyone else, even Colin.  I never lie to him about anything, but I was. I would go out with friends and eat at BK and then tell him I didn't eat out. Or when I would go out for a coffee I wouldn't tell him I also bought 2 cookies.  It was getting so that I was sneaking food all over again. Something I swore I would never do.

It will STOP ... it has to STOP ... but it will take a LOT of effort each and every day!

Back To The Grind But Still Standing Still

Well a lot has been going on lately and I fell a little off with it all.  I started back to work on Sept 2 and I am so happy to be back to work.  No that is not sarcastic either.  I like the routine and I also like the chaos at the same time.  As much as I wish I could spend every waking moment with Ahnika I know that just isn't feasible at all.  Everyone said it was going to be a huge change going back to work and it was/is.  I now have a brand new routine above and beyond my normal daily activities because of Ahnika but I wouldn't trade it.  My days are hectic that's for sure but I do love it.  I just wish I could get back on track with life.

While I was on maternity leave, which flew by so very fast, I was definitely not eating properly at all.  I would just eat whenever/whatever I felt like it, and that made my weight end up getting very erratic.  I would lose 4lbs one week and gain that and then some back the next week.  In getting back to work I was hoping that I would get back on track but really that hasn't completely happened.  I am still eating way too much and too often.  I know now it is a conscious effort that has to take place on my part but I am finding it so hard to make it.

I know that if I was to write everything down that I eat in the run of a day every day I would start to become more accountable again but again it takes a conscious effort that I don't seem to be putting in for some reason.

There are times I think that I am not making this conscious effort because I obtained the unobtainable in my life by just getting to my current weight and that is an absolutely gorgeous baby girl who is growing like a weed. But I need to keep reminding myself that I didn't get the surgery to solely have a child.  I had the surgery and changed my life so that I would be around for that child for the rest of her life and if I keep getting stuck at this weight I am not going to be there for her.

I need to go back to square one in this lifestyle change I started on Sept 26, 2012 but I find it so hard to make that change.  I will never deny that I love food and everything about it and because of that giving things up that I enjoy is hard.  Even though I know that ultimately they could hurt my journey.

Today I have made a small change and that is writing everything I have eaten down.  That includes the tea I just had delivered.  I am hoping that if I can get back into writing down everything I eat as well as keeping back up with this blog I might hit my next goal of being at/below 250lbs.

Starting Again ...

Ahnika is now just over 2 months old and I am struggling with my weight.  I lost almost all of my pregnancy weight and then gained some back.  I haven't been getting out to walk nearly as much as I wanted, and sadly my treadmill is buried yet again.  I have also been eating the wrong types of food as well as the wrong quantity so as of Monday I am back on track!

I have started logging my food again, and I made sure I tailored the program (MyFitnessPal) to be what they suggested at the WeightLoss Clinic. I am really hoping to get back on track because I was sneaking closer and closer to that 300lb mark again and it made me sad and scared.

I celebrated my first Mother's Day on Sunday and that is what really got me thinking about making the changes to get back on track.  I don't want my little girl to ever have this worry, I want her to see what a healthy lifestyle is from day one and if I don't make sure I make the changes back to the healthy life style I will not only be hurting myself but her as well.

I vow to be a healthier woman next Mother's Day not just for me but for my gorgeous little girl!

Introducing Ahnika Mae Adams!!

Now that I have a few minutes to sit down I would like to introduce my new little girl Ahnika Mae.  Her birth story was definitely not one I ever thought I would experience but here it is.

On Wednesday March 5 I was scheduled for a gel induction at 8:30am so Colin and I got to the hospital at 8am and I was feeling no difference than my last doctors appointment which was March 3.  At the last doctors appointment I was 1cm dilated but the baby had actually moved back up instead of down. 

At the hospital on March 5 I got checked right away and was told I actually dilated to 3cm and the baby had dropped for sure. They said let's forget the gel and instead start pitocin drip. I was surprised that we would go to that right away mainly because I had my self worked up to get gelled and then have 6hours before anything else was decided.  At 10am they started me an the drip and almost immediately I started to feel the pressure of the first contractions, however, they were definitely not hard to deal with at all.  They were coming regularly  but I was able to talk through them all without any real issue.  Sadly because I was on the drip I was also hooked up to monitors all the time and unable to do anything except stay in bed.  By noon my contractions were one right on top of the other without much of a break to be seen.  But the nurses were not happy with how the read out looked and checked me.  I hadn't dilated any further.  They left me on the drip for another 2 hours and the doctor showed up and said she didn't like the look of the read outs either and although I was contracting regularly our little miss was not tolerating them very well.   

She went ahead and decided to break my water. I was so shocked at the drastic change in my contractions.  They went from pressure only and even though it was constant I was tolerating it to constant pain.  I was getting no breaks at all and the pain just kept getting worse and worse.  At 3:30 the doctor came back, checked and still didn't like the look of the baby's readout nor the fact that I still hadn't dilated any further so said she was sorry but we would have to start the process of a c-section for the safety of myself and the baby.

By 4:50pm I was in the OR with my spinal being put in.  I was so relieved to not feel the contractions any more I ended up getting pretty emotional.  DH was brought in and he sat down and within 5 minutes miss Ahnika Mae was born.  I didn't even realize what was happening until they brought her over all bundled up.  The precious look on my husbands face when he looked at our beautiful little girl was worth everything I had been through that day. 

Although we did not expect the c-section it was definitely well worth it.  I did not have a traditional section though because I have had previous surgeries.  So instead of the horizontal incision done I was given a vertical incision and I have to say I have had almost ZERO pain from it. I would have been released from the hospital on Saturday, however, our little miss had a slight case of jaundice so we were not discharged until Sunday March 9.

So I am finally home with my amazing family. Ahnika Mae was born at 5:20pm March 5th weighing 7lbs 11.8oz and measuring 20 inches long.  She did lose 10oz of weight while in the hospital but she is slowly going back up.  WE LOVE HER TO PIECES!!!

Tomorrow is my DUE date

Well as of tomorrow I will be 40 weeks pregnant and I am so ready to meet this little girl.  Sadly she doesn't seem very ready to come out and greet the world.  I am not really having any signs of labor other than a few twinges here and there ... Absolutely nothing consistent by any means.  

I think I can say that I am ready for her though.  Her room is 99.9% done and will be 100% done by the end of the night. Only thing left to get/put up is her curtains and the cushions on the rocking chair.  I am getting them hand made by a friend of mine and will be picking them up tonight.

One end of her room is going to be the nursery itself with her bed and clothing and the other end is for now a changing area but as she grows she will have a play room.  For the first little bit though she will be sleeping in our room in the playpen.

I am so ready to see my little girls face even though I'm terrified of the labor process itself lol

My doctor is hoping I go into labor naturally, however, just in case she has scheduled me for an induction on Wednesday, March 5th.  So if by chance I do not go into labor this week/weekend I am to go back for one final check up on March 3 and then if I'm still not in labor I am to call Labor and Delivery on Wednesday the 5 to be sure there is a bed available and then head in for 8:30am.  

I have said since I found out I was pregnant that even though my due date is Feb 26 I don't expect to see this little girl until March 1 and I'm sticking to that!! I hope the next time I post on here she will be here :-)

Once she is here I am going to get back to my weight loss blog with some updates on Ahnika too of course.  But I really can't wait to get back to my journey of becoming a better me. .. It will only help me be there for my little girl for the rest of our lives!!!

30 Days till Due Date

I can not get over how quick this pregnancy has gone.  I have just 30 days left till my due date. I have had such an easy pregnancy with no sickness, no real discomfort until the last few weeks and no medical issues (to date) I do however have one thing that is annoying me, and that is that my doctor is adamant that me being over weight is going to cause me to have gestational diabetes.

Some back history to help explain why I'm so frustrated with this.

I have been checked for normal diabetes my entire life.  Each time they do a blood draw (A1C) my 14 day average for blood sugar levels comes back as 5.1 which is near perfect.  Right at my very first doctors appointment Dr Abel told me to go on Metformin 3 times a day to help regulate my blood sugars (without ever testing me) I did what she asked for a few weeks but noticed if I took all 3 I would get extremely light headed by mid/late afternoon and after getting my blood sugars tested by a friend who is diabetic found out my sugars were dropping too low.  So I cut myself back to 2 a day and still found that they were dropping too low. I slowly stopped taking the Metformin all together and felt amazing.

I was sent for the first gestational diabetes test at 28 weeks and my levels came back at only 4.6 which is fantastic seeing as the cut off is normally 7.8 before you are sent for the longer test so I was very excited to see I was doing fine even without the Metformin.

Sadly at my last appointment (35 weeks) Dr Abel said she wanted me to be sent for the second, longer, glucose tolerance test which is 2hrs in length because she thinks I might have developed Gestational Diabetes late in the pregnancy.   Now she says this without ever doing any other blood tests, just by measuring the size of the baby and my being  over weight in general.  (Also note I had only gained 30lbs by my 35th week of pregnancy which is fantastic seeing as I started out overweight)

I am very frustrated with people stereotyping me because of my weight.  I am in good health 99% of the time.  The medical issues I do have do not have ANYTHING to do with being over weight.  They are issues that would be there whether I was ideal weight or not.

So because of this "stereotyping" I am now heading to get an Ultrasound done tomorrow to see how big Miss Ahnika is getting as well as the 2hr Blood Glucose tolerance test on Wed morning.

S**T just got real ... lol

For about a week or so I have been feeling little tiny flutters going on in my lower abdomen but on Sunday evening some of them turned into more distinct kicks/punches.  I was lying in bed next to Colin and he was snoring away (as usual) and from my stomach all I could feel were little punches/kicks and they kept going as long as he was snoring but the second he stopped so did the punches/kicks.  I was roaring but I knew Colin couldn't feel them so I felt like a fool laying there laughing at something only I could feel.

I notice now if Colin is talking I start to feel more and more movements. I love it and just can't wait for him to feel them as well.

We had our anatomy ultrasound yesterday but I was very upset with it.  My ultrasound tech asked me 2 questions then for the next 45 minutes said absolutely nothing to me.  Not even you have a healthy looking baby or anything like that. NOTHING ... but she did hurt me badly by having to push so hard (I assume because of my weight)

When she was all finished she said she couldn't get a few pictures because the baby was being stubborn. She said she needed to get more pictures of the heart because she was only getting the spine each time (the baby was facing my back and didn't want his/her picture taken at all). She also said she needed a good profile shot but couldn't get one.  She left and got Colin and when he came him I spoke to him and she started to show us a few things and said "and now the baby moves" and we got ONE nice profile shot because our little bean heard his/her daddy talking I swear. 

 

Seeing our little munchkin makes it feel more real.  I'm just hoping to find out the sex in the next few weeks :D

Baby Info ... More to Come Next Week

I've been MIA for a while due to this pregnancy and my inability to do much more than get up, go to work, go home and sleep for the last 16 weeks.

I am 19w today and almost to the half way point.  I have to say I have been extremely lucky to date with this pregnancy. I have not had any morning sickness, I have not really had any issues other than being extremely tired.  That was until Sunday when I came down with a head to toe rash due to an allergic reaction.  I tried on some second hand maternity clothing I purchased before washing it. It was my own stupidity as I could smell the person's detergent on the clothing. I have since recovered thankfully because I was pretty sure I was ready to rip my skin off.

 I was very unprepared to pop so suddenly.  I went from being just flabby LOL to having a hard round stomach.







I have an ultrasound on October 8 and I can't wait to get some pictures of our little BandBaby.  I am also starting to feel some small flutters/kicks.  I am assuming that due to my weight before getting pregnant it will take longer for me to actually feel our little ones kicks and even longer for poor Colin to feel them.

I started out at 279lbs and I am hoping not to gain too much.  As of last week I had only gone up to 286lbs which was only a 7lb gain.  I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep a healthy weight but I'm sure trying!

A New Life Being Added ....

Well I haven't posted in a while because I have been keeping a SECRET. 

I didn't want everyone to know why I wasn't really losing any weight the last little bit, nor why I gained a pound here and there. But I am going to say now!

Colin and I are expecting our first bundle of joy in just 7 short months.

Thanks to some amazing life changes, losing close to 85lbs, we were surprised to find out on June 26th that we were pregnant.  It isn't that we weren't trying and it was a surprise that way, it was that I have been told since before we even got married that I might never conceive on my own due to some medical issues I had.  Thankfully the surgery has helped me change my life so much that those medical issues seem to have somewhat corrected themselves. Enough that ...

WE ARE PREGNANT!!

Our Expected Due Date is February 26, 2014, however, I will be going for a dating ultrasound sometime in the next week or so and that might get changed, although I doubt it.

So life is changing for me, however, for the next few months I won't be talking about weight loss I will probably annoy everyone with baby news instead.

Loving Life

I can't get over how hard doing a PLANK is.  I am struggling something fierce to do them but I am going to keep at it, even if I have to do them for 20 seconds a day till I don't shake any more.

I spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in Halifax with my parents because I had another band adjustment on Wednesday.  It didn't go as smoothly as the last one, however, it was definitely not as painful as the first one.  This was also the first time that Dr. Stalker asked me to take a sip of water to make sure I didn't have too much restriction.  I felt fine though.  I was not really hungry until the next morning but didn't want to push it so I only had some oatmeal (extra watery) and some scrambled eggs.

I was very shocked that I didn't hurt at all after walking around so much, however, I was very tired thanks to not being in my own bed. 

I got home on Friday evening and spent most of Saturday baking, cleaning, etc and then on Sunday I did something I didn't think I would EVER do in my life, although I did dream of it.  Colin and I went for a bike ride after delivering a cake.  We biked from our house down Wallace Road, up Connaught Ave to Bridgeport Convenience (where I had a root beer Popsicle) then back up Main St to our house.  In total it was 6.7Km (3.84 mi) and I couldn't get over the fact that I did it.  I don't know if I could do it again today, but I am definitely getting out to walk today.  I don't want to give up on the energy & exercise habits I'm building.

Starting to see a New Me

Well I have to say I'm finally starting to see some changes, not physically because they have been there for a while now, but in my day to day routines/energy.  I will start by saying I lost 1.8lbs this week bringing me down 85.6lbs in total.

I notices this past week that I chose to do things I never thought I would do.  I have joined a walking club at my office and, weather permitting, we walk 3 days a week.  The walk I chose to do is 1.24miles and I can do it in 25.50 minutes.  I am hoping that gets better as the summer goes on!

Then on Saturday, while Colin was away with family I spent the entire day baking, cooking, cleaning etc.  Around 3pm I was going to sit down and decided I didn't want to, that I needed to get outside but couldn't find the garage keys anywhere so biking was out of the question.  So off I went in my walking gear and I walked from our house, down one of the side streets and back.  Not since I met Colin would I ever have thought of walking that street because of the hill on it.  I am terrified of walking hills because they hurt so much, however, I also know they burn the energy so GOOD!

I walked the 0.94miles in about 20 minutes and was so shocked that when I got back I was still able to breath fine that I turned on my new yoga work out and I did 30 minutes of that as well.  I couldn't get over that I had done it, without being told, begged, or guilted into it. I did it of my own choice and I shocked myself.  I really hope I can keep small NSVs like that up. 

Today I decided to start a new challenge.  A 30 day PLANK challenge.  It doesn't look too hard on paper, however, WOW even the first day which is only 20 seconds nearly killed me so please pray I make it through the next 30 days :D

A Weekend Away ... and Me

Well I was in Truro this past weekend with TOPS and I had a great time.  I ended up being a Provincial Winner for Division 9 which is the Weight Loss Surgery division within TOPS.  I know I am not the same as everyone else and I needed the surgery, but it felt odd being the only person as the Provincial Division 9 Winner.  I didn't think there is anyone else in the Weight Loss Surgery division at all, but I have to stop thinking that this is a bad thing.  I don't know if I will be there next year, but I hope to be.  I hope that this surgery works properly for me and I know that I can not lose weight like everyone else so I am working hard at this.

Some people have been asking what the Lap-Band looks like because just talking/writing about it doesn't truly explain it.

Below is a picture of a stomach and around it is the Lap-Band  You will notice that it makes a smaller pouch at the top but that the rest of the stomach is left in tact.  There is a small tube that goes from the band down to a port.  My port is sewn to a muscle just to the right of my largest incision and that is what is used to add fluid (saline) to the band each and every time I go to Dr Stalker's office in Halifax.

Each time I go to Dr Stalker's office he adds saline to my port which travels up the tube to the band itself and it tightens it just a little so that a small amount of food keeps me satisfied for 4 hours or more each and every time I eat.

I have a 10cc band and I currently have 3.7cc's in my band.  I go for another adjustment on June 20th and I am hoping that this is the last one for a while.  I am close to my "green zone" but it feels so far away sometimes.

I know 100% I am not like everyone else, I used to eat to keep from doing other things. I have been on every fad diet known to man and been to more doctors and dietitians than I can even count. But no matter what I was doing I couldn’t take weight off for longer than a month or so and each time I thought I found my stride I gained every bit of the weight back and then some. 

At my highest weight I was barely living life but to the outside world you would never know it, I was good at hiding how I felt. 

Before my surgery in September 2012 I was so large I didn’t fit into a standard MRI machine that I
desperately needed, I was forced to view Walt Disney World from a wheel chair because my
legs just couldn’t hold me up for any length of time, and while camping I had to take my car
from the campsite to the bathrooms because I knew that walking there would have me so out
of breath and sweaty I’d feel horrible. 

 I feel amazing as of today but I have to keep realizing that I am NOT everyone else ... I will stumble and fall .... I will have good days and bad ... but I am me and I will lose this weight!!!

A Loss and Some Exercise

Well I lost this week at TOPS. I'm down 3.8lbs bringing my total to 78.6lbs.  I was very happy when I weighed in because last week was a small gain that I was hoping was all water weight.

I also started the 30 day Squat Challenge on Monday! So far I feel ok, but I'm pretty sure that by day 7 I'm going to be one hurting woman.  This is one thing I really want to do for me ... something I want to try and stick to no matter what. I find myself starting and stopping a lot of things lately and I know I can't keep doing that because if I do I will never get to where I want to be.

Starting Friday there will be a new challenge hosted by Big Deal's Weight Loss & Jay.  I really want to do this as well and am truly hoping I can stick to it. I already keep a food diary so part of it isn't an issue, however, the 30 minutes of outdoor activity each day may be harder to achieve.

 

I am hoping that these things will help me keep on track and lose the weight!

Its The Little Things That Mean The Most

I may still be 110lbs away from my goal, I may still wear between a 1X & 3X, I may have weeks where I gain a 1lb here and there but I feel amazing already.  I have had a number of NSV (Non Scale Victories) that just make me think back to how I felt at the beginning of this journey and remember why I need to keep going when I feel discouraged.

• I was able to paint my own toe nails last evening and to most people that seems like an every day task but for me was almost impossible due to my size.  I was even too embarrassed to go to a pedicurist.

• As a friend stated in his blog yesterday I now can choose to go to almost any show/restaurant and sit in any seat and know I will fit where before I turned down a lot of tickets/dinner dates/etc because it had arms on it and I wouldn't fit.  

• I purchased my van over 2 years ago and in hindsight I only picked a van because I didn't fit in to anything else comfortably and now I feel like I could pick almost any vehicle (within reason) and fit without issue.

• I bought a pair of high heels for the first time this month because I finally didn't feel like I was going to sink to the center of the earth.

• Before I started this journey I would cringe when I realized I had to walk somewhere to get something, whether it was within the office (up or downstairs) or to take the garbage to the curb and now I do it without even thinking.  There are days I go up and down the stairs at work 10 - 20 times now!

I may update this from time to time when other things that make me smile and remember why I decided to take this journey!

A Gain but A Non Scale Victory That Made Me So Happy

I sadly gained 1.2lbs this week at TOPS and although I promised never to make excuses for why this happens from time to time I think I was my own worst enemy yesterday.  I started getting a sore throat around  2pm and to try and help relieve the pain I ended up drinking close to, if not over, 64oz of water.  I NEVER do that on a weigh in day, so I wasn't overly surprised when I stepped on the scale last night.  I thought I did really well through out the week so I had actually been expecting a loss but was not overly upset with the gain.

What made me super happy this week though was ...

I drove a bike!!!

I didn't think I would be able to but I didn't forget a thing.  I will, however, never drive this bike again without changing the seat because its a Mountain Bike seat and very hard on the butt LOL

NSV (Non Scale Victories)

Well everyone,  I lost 1/4 of a pound this week at TOPS and although it was not as much as I wanted to lose it didn't get me down because I had a TON of NSV's (Non Scale Victories) A big one was that I purchased a mountain bike about a week ago and am loving it, even if I'm not loving the hills in our area yet.

Last evening my husband and I went for a ride straight after work. He has been driving a bike for YEARS and loves it so this is something that I really wanted to do as I started to lose weight so I could spend time with him.  We left our house and went for a 20 minute ride, and although I'm sure Colin could have biked circles around me he was very kind to me and stopped on hills if I needed to ... I am very lucky to have him to help me along.

The hills in our area are annoying, some small and some large, but very hard on something who hasn't ridden a bike in FOREVER.

 

After the ride we went and had our supper etc and then around 8pm he asked if I wanted to go for a walk since he wanted to fly his planes (RC ones) and in the past I would have laughed at him.  But I said yes and I'm sure he was very shocked to hear me say that.  We went down to a small park where he likes to fly and around it is a walking track.  It isn't large but its 1/4 of a mile long and I did 2 full laps around it.  I was able to get up to 3Mph walking and was very excited.



That was 2 awesome NSVs for me, things I didn't think I would ever be able to do again.

I am almost done of my 30 day Squat Challenge and am looking to start another challenge once its over. I still haven't decided what to do though.   What is nice however, is that our office has started a Walking Club and we will do group walks every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  As I get more information and days under my belt I will tell everyone how its all going.

Needing to Refocus

I don't know why I feel off track but I do even though I'm losing weight still.  I think its the weather, it makes me feel like I should be doing so much more.  I need to up my walking so I'm sure to be able to do the full Walk for ALS at the end of June. Since the weather is very unpredictable I am going to stick to walking on my treadmill but I really need to do more.  I started a challenge in April to walk 15 miles and I got about 5 in and gave up.  More so because I was so swamped with other things that I just pushed it aside.  I need to stop doing that, I need to make ME a priority no matter how many cakes I have to bake, or what family I have to visit, or how stressful work is.  Walking should be so natural but it is still a struggle for me so I am going to make it a priority. It isn't going to be every day because for me right now that just isn't working, so I am going to walk every second day, no matter how busy I am I will take 30 - 60 minutes out of my day to focus on me. 

I am going to have to try a few things while walking to make it less boring though, whether it be reading my Kobo, watching TV shows on Netflix, or listening to some really good music. I can't just walk aimlessly because I get bored too quickly.  I am the multi-task queen and as such it frustrates me that I can't do other productive things while walking so if I could take my mind off of that by reading, watching a show, or listening to music and focusing on just me it should help.

I did enjoy the Couch to 5K I was doing in April and although I did stop it I think will pick it back up but in a modified form this month.  

I really do need to refocus my priorities to get this done because it is all about my life & health.  On top of wanting to lose weight and become healthier in turn all of these changes will also help me cope with other issues in my life.  On February 4, 2013 I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis (MS).  It was a great shock to get this diagnosis, but it was also a relief to know that everything that has been going on the past 8 - 10 years weren't just random occurrences. Although there is no cure for MS it is a disease that many many people life with daily and without major issues.

I haven't had was is known as a "flareup" since my first one in December of 2004 when I lost the sight in my right eye due to Optic Neuritis.  That lasted about 4 - 6 months but I can now see perfectly fine. I have since had a few smaller issues like vertigo and bouts of extreme tiredness, the biggest thing that I was left with was cluster migraines that annoy me more than anything.  They aren't like a normal migraine, instead they are sharp sharp pains, like a knife stabbing me that can last up to about 60 seconds but can end up happening upwards of 50 times a day. 

Losing this excess weight and living a healthier lifestyle will not only make me look/feel better physically but will also help me deal with future "flareups" of my MS. I hope to go another 8+ years before I have a "flareup" and I hope that all of these changes to my lifestyle will help with that!

I got weighed in last evening and lost 0.8lbs bringing my total for weight loss to 76lbs!!! My current weight is 288.4 ... I am 24lbs away from my 100lb loss and I have only 16.2lbs until I am halfway to my final goal!!!

Back on Track

Well I had an adjustment last Wednesday in Halifax.  My mother, father and I went up over night and did some shopping too.  I was in and out of my adjustment appointment in less than 5 minutes. It was painless this time around because my port is not laying flat on the muscle and luckily he didn't have to go searching for it.  I didn't even feel the needles for the first time in my life!

While we were in Halifax I purchased a dress and some high heels. First time purchasing both because I wanted to in my LIFE!

 I will be wearing this with a black jacket/bolero in May to the TOPS PRD in Truro. 

After the adjustment I felt back to normal.  My meals were allowing me to stay satiated for upwards of 4 hours.  Something that I was really missing for so long.  Then on Tuesday I got weighed in at TOPS and was DOWN 5.6lbs!!

I'm back on track and feeling amazing.  I am out of the 290's and really hope to stay that way!

A Gain but Not Giving Up

Well I sadly gained again this week at TOPS, 0.8lbs  Its not a lot but I'm not going in the right direction at all. I'm not giving up!  I started the Couch to 5K on April 1 and I am sticking to that.  In doing that, as I said in my last post, I am also trying to walk a total of 15 miles this month. I refuse to give up but I am definitely not happy with where I am right now. 

I had an information session with Sue, one of the SWLC nurses, this past week and during it I felt like she was talking directly to me. She was explaining some common issues with the band that most people don't think about.

One of those issues is a pain in the lower left quadrant of my torso that I thought was a pulled muscle or something but was told it is most likely the tubing from the port hitting a nerve and stretches etc can help move it away from the trouble spot.

Another thing that hit home drastically was that I am probably in need of another adjustment even though I had one in February.  She mentioned that it normally takes 4 or 5 adjustments each about 4 -6 weeks apart before they find that "SWEET" spot.  She showed us the picture below:

I should be in the Green Zone, however, as I lose weight its not just coming off my legs, arms, torso, face etc it is also coming off my stomach itself and as such the band isn't tight enough to help me achieve satiety after a small meal like before. Which puts me in the Yellow Zone

I thought that after my adjustment in February that would be it for months but sadly its not, they put so little in each time to very slowly bring me back into the Green Zone. I thought it was all in my head, I didn't think what I was feeling was due to my band needing adjustment.

I have been feeling hungry within an HOUR of my meals. I am constantly thinking about food, recipes, what I get to eat at my next meal, what I can make this weekend, for the coming weeks etc.  Its a constant battle and it didn't used to be right after my surgery.  I thought it was just how the rest of my journey was going to be but Sue said that should NOT be how I feel at all. 

I am scheduled to go to Halifax on Wed, April 17th for an adjustment, I know it might not be the last but I hope it helps me out of this rut. The adjustment combined with my workouts I hope will help me get back on the losing track!